How to Separate Your Career from Your Sense of Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem?

Having a passion for your work is beneficial because it motivates you to overcome challenges and effect real change.

But when it comes to contemporary culture, people are very preoccupied with the connection between their jobs and their self-worth. Studies frequently demonstrate how work experiences affect one's self-esteem, and the opposite is also true.

You must comprehend how crucial it is to distinguish between "success" in your professional life and your personal sense of self-confidence and self-esteem. There are many ways to remember that your work does not determine your success and that what you do does not define who you are.

In fact, identifying yourself can shield you from the changes that will inevitably happen throughout your life. It can be challenging, if not impossible, to suddenly change and re-evaluate your priorities if you have dedicated your entire life to establishing your worth through your work. It is beneficial to challenge yourself internally to sever the connection between your sense of self-worth and your job if you enjoy your professional life. So how can you get started?

Five Tips to Get You Started

1. Control Your Responses

When you get negative feedback on a report or presentation at work, keep in mind that there are many instances in which criticism is not an accurate reflection of your work. According to clinical psychologist Jessica Koblenz, there is frequently concrete feedback at work, especially from bosses who tell you to do something better.

When that occurs, Jessica advises, “Slow down and consider the comments in perspective. Does your boss conduct critical analysis with each employee? Take some time to reflect on yourself in turn. Ask yourself if you are fighting the inner voice that you came across earlier in life if a comment makes you feel emotional, tense in your body, and your blood pressure is rising. Be in charge of your negative emotions before they take over.”

2. Set Boundaries Between Your Personal and Professional Lives

Always make an effort to keep your personal and professional lives separate, and if something negative occurs at work, avoid letting it affect your personal life. This will help you conserve energy for both.

Jessica suggests creating rituals as transitional spaces to help you get into "work mode" or "home mode" in order to avoid immediately turning off your computer and lying in bed. Instead, consider a walk around the neighborhood as a metaphorical commute to work or doing something as simple as drinking tea or taking a shower after work, for example. “You kind of let go of what happened back in the day and are able to accept what comes next,” she says.

3. Schedule Time for Your Favorite Activities

Keep in mind that there are many other opportunities to find meaning in life if you are passionate about your work. Do you prefer reading a good book or engaging in sports? Try to cultivate your passion, whether it be gardening, music lessons, meditation, or family time. Remember that there is more than just a chore at the office, so challenge yourself to list other things that make you happy and make time to do them even when you are busy.

4. Be Honest

Jessica suggests avoiding asking someone about their job when you first meet them at a party. Instead, ask them how long they have lived in your city or who they know at the party. If someone asks you about your profession, consider using the verb instead of the noun. You can say something more practical rather than simply stating that you are an engineer, like, “I find unexpected computer problems.” Doing so can help you remember that your work is something you do, but it is not the only purpose of your life.

5. Repeat Positive Affirmations or Motivational Words

List the top three qualities of your best friend that you most admire. You are not likely to say that their job is what you like most about them. Instead, you could highlight their ability to find joy or balance in their lives. Next, list three catchphrases, affirmations, or good qualities about yourself.

Remind yourself of these qualities and keep in mind all the wonderful things you have already achieved whenever you start to feel stressed out due to a challenging task at work. “You cannot just make yourself do something great by pressing a button,” says Jessica, “but acknowledging your accomplishments and giving yourself credit each day can help you reframe any situation. In the end, self-compassion will be more beneficial than stress. In other words, make a done list instead of a to-do list.”.

In Conclusion

There is no better time than now to re-evaluate the work-life balance, nearly three years into the COVID-19 pandemic.  In fact, millions of people have recently quit their jobs, and mental illness is no longer stigmatized.

Although we do not suggest that you do the same, you should keep in mind that this is what a job entails. Even fulfilling and enjoyable jobs can become quite exhausting, whereas engaging in a hobby and connecting with a loved one, for instance, are things that should be prioritized in a life filled with happiness and fulfillment.