How to Adopt A Grateful Mentality To Achieve Happiness in Difficult Times?

When my two children were in elementary school, my wife and I created a routine during dinner time called "The Grateful Game." Every evening, the four of us would take turns succinctly sharing one aspect of our day for which we felt grateful.

Note: This article is taken from the blog of Greg Orme, who shares his experience practicing gratitude.

Strangely, I am now conducting similar gratitude exercises with senior executives in my leadership programs at the London Business School. Scientists in recent years have revealed the wonderful psychological, physical, and social benefits of practicing gratitude in our lives. Studies indicate that practicing gratitude for just five minutes a day can make you 25% happier; individuals who appreciate what they have tend to experience more joy, pleasure, and optimism in their lives, leading them to become more generous, compassionate, and forgiving toward others.

Remarkably, the groundbreaking research of psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough goes even further; it shows that grateful people build a stronger immune system, suffer less pain and blood pressure, engage in daily exercises, and take better care of their health. Additionally, they tend to experience better sleep at night and wake up more refreshed. On a social level, they feel less isolated, as the sense of gratitude has become more crucial than ever, especially after more people have experienced feelings of loneliness during the pandemic.

These advanced findings offer pathways to business success, as well as enhancing individual well-being. If we accept that gratitude increases happiness, we also understand that joyful individuals are more curious, creative, and adaptable – qualities that are crucial in the post-pandemic world, marked by turbulence and challenges.

Increasing Happiness Level

Although the evidence for defining gratitude is relatively new, great thinkers have long characterized gratitude as a desirable trait for emotionally mature minds. The Roman statesman Marcus Cicero described it as the greatest virtue and the root of all other useful qualities. The philosopher David Hume in the 18th century deemed ingratitude as "the greatest crime that a human being can commit." In Shakespeare's play King Lear, the protagonist accuses his ungrateful daughter Goneril of being "a heart unkindled." Therefore, it is not surprising that our ancestors insist on us expressing gratitude toward others.

Psychologists refer to the personal level of daily happiness as the "set point." Each of us inherits an individual happiness scale rooted in our genes and upbringing. It has long been said that this state remains relatively constant over time. However, research shows that whether you win the lottery or experience a physical injury, you tend to return to that "set point" after three to six months. If you doubt this, the next time you board a plane, observe the faces of those seated in the comfortable business class seats and see if they appear happier. You'll likely find that their expressions reveal a similar level of happiness as those less fortunate.

Positive psychology researchers suggest that certain habits can potentially alter your "set point" of happiness and steer it in a positive direction. There is a valuable debate about the extent of the impact this can have. However, one point is widely agreed upon: Gratitude is one of the few deliberate human emotions that can have a lasting effect.

Here are three simple yet effective tips to increase and maintain your happiness level:

1. Count the blessings you have been granted

Writing down three new things you feel grateful for can lead to changing the physical structure of your mind. Researchers have shown that the effect becomes evident after about three weeks of this daily practice. American psychologist Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, stated, "Ultimately, your brain starts to retain a pattern of scanning the world for the positive first, rather than the negative."

2. Send an email expressing gratitude

Another way to consciously express gratitude is by acknowledging it to the people present in your life. In my leadership programs, we ask participants to choose three individuals and write a short story about them in the form of an email. The purpose of this is to describe a time when this person provided assistance.

Professor Dan Cable, author of the book Exceptional: Build Your Personal Highlight Reel and Unlock Your Potential, advises that "it's important for the story written in the form of an email to have an intrduction,body, and conclusion. I encourage people to include specific elements of the event, which helps the recipient of the email to retrieve memories as they read."

When top executives gathered the courage to write their own email messages expressing gratitude, Dan and I observed that within hours or days that these managers often receive similar emails from their friends, colleagues, or family members.

However, if you're hesitant about sharing a gratitude story, there's a wonderful aspect of the research that encourages you to do so. It has become evident that crafting the story is worth your effort, even if you don't send the email. The evidence shows that individuals who compose narratives and decide to keep them to themselves still reap remarkable benefits unlike others.

This habit of expressing gratitude openly - whether in writing or face-to-face - has a multiplied impact. Researchers have found that the improvement in mental health increases after twelve weeks of practicing this habit, which is intriguing because the mental health benefits of positive activities often decrease over time.

3. Take time to reflect with gratitude

The coronavirus has transformed mindfulness - the ability to focus on the present moment without judgment - from a managerial novelty into a fundamental tool. Gratitude can enhance this powerful approach by focusing on what you are currently thankful for, whether it's the warmth of the sun, a wonderful book you're reading, or a special person in your life.

Happiness has become a focal point during the pandemic, and recent results from a Gallup poll are paradoxical. The average happiness increased in ninety-five countries compared to three years before the emergence of the coronavirus. What's even more surprising is that COVID-19 has boosted the happiness of the elderly more than any other group, despite their significantly higher vulnerability to mortality. On average, older adults experience more joy when the younger population is more distressed, and the reason behind this is gratitude. Last month, The Economist stated, "Perhaps the elderly do not have good health, yet they feel better because they managed to avoid an illness that almost killed them."

Current scientific research on gratitude now supports the methods my wife and I employed with our young children. As working parents, we initiated the "Grateful Game" during dinner as a positive approach, allowing us to overcome negative behaviors. Through this, we found it easier to redirect their attention toward something positive rather than continuously rejecting negative behavior.

We all have the capability to do this, as gratitude gives you the power to redirect your attention away from negative emotions toward something more joyful. By practicing gratitude consistently, you can reprogram your brain to become a happier person, which is why we can all be extremely thankful.