How Can Your Feelings of Guilt Destroy Your Emotional Relationships?

Have you ever felt wrong about an issue you had nothing to do with? Did you feel in your childhood that you carried more burdens on yourself than your age? Did you panic when someone called your name as if you had committed a crime and were trying to cover it up when you did nothing wrong?

What is guilt?

Guilt is a strong emotion that includes feelings of shame, panic, and loss of self-confidence, regardless of age, and is often caused by certain events that occurred in childhood, parents use this feeling to control the child's behavior, but they use of this method may lead to confusion in the child's behavior, the child's thought processes, and may cause episodes of depression when this child becomes an adult.

If you ever feel guilty about anything, you know it is not a good feeling. Some people can deal with those feelings and move on, while on the contrary, others will relive those feelings of guilt over and over in their mind, and this may make them think that they are bad people This eventually leads to depression.

Does feeling guilty lead to changes in brain structure?

Research has shown that children who have experienced high levels of guilt have a smaller anterior nucleus, which predicts depression later on, and guilt as a parenting style may lead to anger and exacerbate the child's problems.

Researchers conducted brain scans of 145 school-age children. They asked parents to determine whether their children showed any symptoms of excessive guilt, such as persistent apologizing for minor misconduct or feeling guilty about things that happened a long time ago. Severe guilt is closely related to the frontal nucleus of the brain.

"Even children who weren't necessarily depressed had a smaller anterior nucleus, and this predicts depression later," says researcher Joanne Lopey, and this research suggests that early childhood experiences influence the way the brain develops.

How do I combat guilt?

Guilt is so strong that it can pass time and stay with you, making you feel that you are not good enough. it is important always to remember that you are good enough.

Is there a relationship between childhood guilt and mental illness?

Some scientists believe that intense feelings of guilt in children may be a warning sign of mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and bipolar disorder later in life. Research has long linked excessive guilt to mental disorders in adults. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) and excessive guilt are a symptom of depression.

But researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that excessive guilt in children may be linked to chemical changes in a part of the brain, and this leads to various mental disorders.

Research provides more evidence on what researchers have begun to suspect about the negative impact of guilt in early childhood on children, and may cause depression and anxiety later on. In a study published by scientists at Jyväskylä University in Finland, researchers found that Parenting styles that created feelings of guilt in children made children feel increasingly upset and angry for several days.

In another study, scientists found that children whose parents used guilt-inducing techniques were more likely to internalize their problems but only temporarily, as these problems reappeared as a variety of emotional disturbances.

Why do people feel guilty?

Most people feel guilt from time to time. You may feel guilty because you did something wrong, or you may feel guilty for having an idea, or when your thoughts and behaviors do not match your family's or culture's expectations. How we feel, respond to, and interact with guilt can vary greatly. Not everyone deals with their feelings the same way.

How do we reshape our view of guilt?

Whatever your associations with negative guilt feelings may have a purely positive purpose, look at it this way: “If an action causes you to feel negative feelings or has negative consequences, you will likely feel guilty later.” This is your mind's way of letting you know that what you did was "wrong," at least by your own standards, and basically, guilt plays an important role in helping you make morally sound decisions.

Unfortunately, guilt can become excessive and cause a variety of obsessive or depressive tendencies that can harm your general well-being and your social and professional relationships. There are many ways you can reduce the effects of guilt.

How can guilt make sense?

Guilt can creep up on you for a whole host of reasons, some perfectly logical, some not so. Logical guilt arises when you feel that you have done something wrong; That is, you have violated your own principles and values ​​and contradicted your moral compass. For example, you may feel guilty if:

• Hurting someone.
• Cheating.
• Lying to him.

Are there benefits to feeling guilty?

This type of guilt helps you improve your social behavior and keeps you on track to achieve your goals. However, even rational guilt can get in the way, especially if you struggle to change your behavior.

When does your guilt feel illogical?

For example, you may feel irrational guilt because:

• Taking responsibility for the feelings and behavior of others by mistake.
• Feeling like a burden to your loved ones.
• Feeling that you haven't done enough to make people happy.
• Feeling that you are not doing anything meaningful in your life.

You may feel guilt for a variety of different reasons, yet no matter what, irrational guilt can affect your mood, reduce your productivity and focus, and damage your relationships and behavior in many ways.

Can an irrational feeling of guilt turn into a logical or rational feeling?

The hard thing about irrational guilt is that it can easily masquerade as rational guilt, but who says it doesn't make sense to feel guilty for not spending enough time with your family? Or do you feel guilty about not taking enough chances because of laziness?

This type of thinking arises from anxiety or latent thoughts that you have imported without thinking, and if you let these thoughts get to you, your irrational guilt will remain with you no matter what you do; In other words, it tends to become rational over time.

What are the signs of guilt?

Guilt can lead to a variety of physical, social and emotional symptoms that affect your daily actions, some of which may include:

• Sleep disorders.
• Stomach and digestion problems.
• Muscle strain.
• Increased sensitivity to the effects of your decisions.
• Feeling tired of making a decision.
• A strong tendency to put the needs of others before your own.
• Low self-esteem.
• A persistent tendency to avoid uncomfortable feelings.

How can guilt destroy romantic relationships?

Excessive guilt can have a detrimental effect on your romantic relationships. Ask yourself how many things in your life do you do out of guilt and obligation. Or for fear of losing your partner? You may go along with what your partner wants - or what you think he wants - because you fear that he will find someone better, or you may fear that you will be judged by your partner's family and friends.

As we often see guilt and fear go hand in hand, they both make a relationship uncomfortable and cause feelings of resentment. Evaluate the ways in which you respond to feelings of guilt that you may find controlling your life much more than you thought, especially when it comes to intimate relationships.

How do you deal with guilt in a relationship?

It can be very difficult to let go of long-term relationships, especially when they are fueled by guilt. However, you can learn how to deal with excessive guilt and overcome its effects. Here are some tips:

• Constantly develop your own skills and take action if you feel your guilt is justified.
• Practice mindfulness and meditation to put your feelings of guilt in the mental courtroom.
• Do not be hard on yourself and learn to forgive.
• Learn from your guilt and your mistakes.
• Remember that your point of view can be skewed by your high expectations.
• Talk to your doctor and discuss your feelings of guilt in depth to gain new insight.

In conclusion

Remember well that your dealings with your child should be very careful, and it is important that you read some books on raising a child before the birth of your children; This is because any mistake could cost your child a lot in the future.