Four Steps to Stop Blaming Circumstances and Develop a Sense of Responsibility

Honestly, respond to these questions: Are you living your life already? Are you good at living, behaving, and reacting to things as they happen? Do you take responsibility for your leadership or delegate decision-making to others? It doesn't matter how you respond.

Since you're only human, you're definitely not perfect. Though the victim mindset won't assist you, none of us are. You're in trouble if you assign blame to external factors rather than accepting accountability.

One advantage is that you can choose your identity each morning when you wake up. The people who have successfully learned how to live contentedly and peacefully are also the ones who bear responsibility for their deeds. Continue reading to learn how to adopt a new outlook and accept accountability for your life.

Personal Responsibility and Self-Actualization

According to psychologist Abraham Maslow, those who are satisfied, have the finest personalities, and take ownership of their happiness live their lives as complete individuals. You may have seen Maslow's hierarchy of needs someplace. It is a well-known theory of human behaviour that explains the motivations that drive humans.

People have always had a problem with the idea of self-actualisation, that is, being a complete person. It appears impossible to reach the top of the pyramid and will only be accessible to a select few. That was not, however, Maslow's aim.

Although he wrote about the hierarchy rather than building the pyramid himself, someone else mistakenly believed that he had. We finally figured out what he really meant after all these years.

In his book Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, humanistic psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman updated and reformulated the pyramid in light of the most recent research on human behaviour.

He emphasised that being fully human entails being present at the moment, savouring life, and pursuing your passions. That is so that you can feel at peace with yourself and capable of positively impacting the world when you feel like you are accomplishing your goals.

Here's how to get closer to that stage by having a sense of personal responsibility.

Why you need a sense of personal responsibility?

When you sail, you don't set out without setting a direction or a destination, do you? As well as life, yet because of this, a lot of individuals lead meaningless lives and get depressed and anxious. Because of this, it's critical to have a clear direction or goal in mind and to distinguish it from more monetary objectives like getting rich or purchasing the home of your dreams.

If your life is based on the idea that "I will be happy if ...", you know that it is a challenging lesson to learn when you realise that you never truly feel happy because your objectives are constantly changing.

You must make your own decisions because living someone else's life helps validate your unhappiness. All you need to do is find a way to balance enjoying every aspect of your life with figuring out where you will be the happiest.

“The hard part is living the moment and being able to sail through life without defining the end. Just as it takes courage to open your sail on a sailboat and know where the wind will take you, it takes a lot of courage to be the best person, too.”- Scott Barry Kaufman.

What is the best personality you can have?

Being the best version of yourself means accepting good and bad things, things that resemble things, and everything hidden in the dark. You can uncover the darkness by shining some light on it.  

If you've had a rough childhood, experienced trauma, or feel aimless or lost, whatever it is, take part of the responsibility for what you've achieved. You're not responsible for your beliefs based on what people have told you, but you're responsible for dealing with them.

Courageous people own up to their shortcomings and accept responsibility for them. They also decide to dedicate their lives to cultivating and enhancing positivity and wellness. Take ownership of your vessel and move beyond your desires and emotions. Several other boats are swinging around; some might require your assistance, but you must take care of yourself before assisting others.

How to have a sense of personal responsibility?

To learn this can be difficult, but you can start with the easy aspects and then address the more difficult ones. Here are the steps you need to take based on the sailing example we've been working on:

1. Focus on the basics in your life

Our lives are marked, like the ocean, by an equal number of successes and failures as the tides. Therefore, if you begin building a sturdy sailboat, you can weather any storms and remain on course without the boat taking on water or capsizing.

The boat structure represents your basic needs: safety, self-esteem, and communication with others, so investigate and ask yourself if your basic needs are being met. Do you feel confident about who you are? Do you have difficulty with willpower and motivation? Do you have sufficient communication relationships with others?

“No human being is exempt from the dire consequences of loneliness, and no other human being in need of consent will be able to make up for the close ties” - Abraham Maslow.

2. Open the sails and prepare for failure

Maslow talked about a lack of focus and strongly emphasised the destination: think in the right direction, but focus on enjoying sailing by finding the goal and following that desire to explore. When was the last time you dared to open your sails? And when did you dare to be weak and ready to fail? And when was the last time you were in focus, in a moment when you were so engrossed in what you were doing that you forgot about your fears and you were just happy?

Maslow thought that each of us had experienced our climax, "Whether it's an excellent athletic or musical performance, a creative experience, an aesthetic realisation, an experience of love, birth, moments of insight and understanding, overcoming a major challenge, or any experience that drives us to be perfect people."

A complete human seeks novel, challenging, and enigmatic experiences to grow; wouldn't it be good to seize great opportunities? Imagine if you could forget all the negativity and only focus on being in the moment.

3. Moving forward with a certain intention

As you move through life, are you intentionally making plans and goals for yourself, or are you just letting things happen and living minute by moment without appreciating what's happening? Establish your goal to begin taking personal responsibility.

If at all possible, set smart goals that will allow you to track your progress as you go. Once you know when and how to complete the goals, it will be easier to measure your progress and take responsibility for everything you did and did not do to achieve them.

4. Live in the moment

Do your thoughts dwell on the past and the future, or do they concentrate on the current moment when you face positive and negative circumstances in life? Do you talk about mistakes made by others that forced you to take a difficult position? Do you complain about what is happening now?

Don't blame other people or circumstances. To truly enjoy every moment of your life, you should stop interacting, start analysing, and take personal responsibility for every thought and emotion you experience. If you find this difficult, try practising mindfulness meditation to help your mind find the space it needs to exist in the here and now.

Final thoughts

If you don't remember the last time you actually felt happy, or if you feel uninspired or lost, and if you feel like you're going down the wrong path, start with the core things in your life and make sure of your basic needs before you get closer to self-realisation.

Look at the mistakes you've made in life, learn from them, and move on to doing bigger and better things. Once you start having a sense of personal responsibility, you'll find that your compass naturally guides you to happiness and success.