Emotional Hunger in Men: Signs, Symptoms and Treatment

5 سبتمبر 2024

Imagine a voracious man who lived a poor life, did not taste any delicious food or fruit, and accidentally sat at a king's table. He will undoubtedly eat with hunger, rush, and barbarism, indifferent to the needs of the other man at the table. This is exactly what happens when a man suffering from emotional hunger enters a passionate relationship.

At the love table and without caring, the man will ask for all kinds of attention at once; his needs are exhausting for his partner. He will demand constant attention and communication until the relationship turns toxic, involving attachment on the man's part and the depletion of the woman's energy. Therefore, based on the concern for the safety of relationships and their healthy functioning, we present this article to discuss men’s emotional hunger and clarify its signs, symptoms, and methods of treatment.

Definition of Emotional Hunger:

Emotional hunger can be defined as a deep and urgent feeling of emotional need for a partner. It is a type of strong psychological hunger that results in the person suffering from it sticking to his partner in a suffocating way. This results in an emotionally draining relationship that ends with the other party losing their total emotional energy.

Emotional hunger often arises due to a person's experience of emotional deprivation in childhood, which results in a great sense of pain that stems from the depths of themselves. One may show signs of emotional hunger from childhood and still suffer from it until adulthood and after. Emotional hunger may not appear in the form of attachment to the partner; it may even appear in the form of a pathological attachment to the child.

Men's emotional hunger:

Men's emotional hunger embodies attachment behaviors and emotional hunger. In such situations, the male develops an unhealthy attachment to his girlfriend and clings to her in a way that makes it impossible for her to go about her regular activities normally. Relationships in their idealized state enrich the lives of both parties, but for someone who struggles with emotional hunger, they take up all of his time and attention. He therefore makes an excessive demand that his partner pay attention to him. He longs to speak with her on the phone and through chat programs. Additionally, he wants to spend a lot of time with her, which puts a lot of strain on the relationship's expectations and the partner's ability to live a normal life.

The effect of a man’s emotional hunger can take the form of a pathological attachment to his child instead of his partner. We see him taking great care and exaggerating, which hinders the child’s natural course of life. He may prevent his child from playing outside with their friends for fear of being away from him, and, for example, he may prevent them from riding the bike for fear of any physical harm.

Signs of man's emotional hunger:

The need for love and affection is normal, but emotional hunger is a pathological condition, and the signs of emotional hunger can be observed in men through the following behaviors:

The great and strong impulse and the desire to spend all the time with her, especially at the beginning of the relationship.
Exceeding the healthy limits of the relationship with the partner. As the desire to communicate continuously by phone or through messages and chat programs, not respecting her preoccupations or commitments and her rest times.
Trying to take up all his partner's time and break all her relationships with the surrounding people except him.
Not caring about what the partner needs or feels; instead, he focuses only on meeting his emotional needs.
Invalidating all of his partner's feelings or attitudes.
Hold his partner accountable for his feelings, and blame her if she feels any negative emotion.
He resorts to exaggerated sexual intercourse in order to fill the emotional void that he feels.
Pouring anger and discontent on the partner if she refuses to do as he wants.
Repeating the same mistakes in the relationship and the same harmful and destructive behaviors despite being aware of their negative effects on the partner and the relationship.
He has a small number of friends, hobbies, and interests. He is almost content with his relationship with his partner and sees her as the focus of his life.
Lying and deliberately concealing facts to get more attention from the partner.
Living in the past and its painful experiences because a man's emotional hunger is often associated with bad old memories and events.
Addiction to alcohol, drugs, or emotional eating.
He desires to own his partner and feels jealous of everyone around her, including her friends and co-workers.
Hunting for personal and other people's mistakes and constantly harboring a poor sense of entitlement.

Men's emotional hunger symptoms:

The signs appear in the man's urgent and persistent demands for affection, attention, and emotion from his girlfriend and his intense wrath, displeasure, and reprimanding in response to her preoccupation or failure. One sign of a man's emotional hunger is his tendency to lie or exaggerate in order to get what he wants from a woman, such as fabricating an illness in order to get her to pay more attention or telling her that she hasn't reciprocated his feelings in order to keep getting more from her.

Men's emotional hunger symptoms also appear for those who have children in the form of a great attachment and concern for them, which is aggravated to the point of intrusion into their children's privacy. Sometimes the symptoms appear in the form of jealousy of his child and a desire to get the attention that the child receives, and he may even resent the achievements of the child because of the attention of others, especially the child’s mother.

Causes of Emotional Hunger:

Attachment behaviors performed by a person suffering from emotional hunger are often attributed to causes and factors that occurred in childhood, so the causes of emotional hunger are:

Separation or loss of the parents and the consequent lack of provision for children's emotional needs.
The feeling of loneliness drives a person to attach to his partner, who is his only breather from his loneliness.
The person does not receive emotional satisfaction from his parents in childhood due to their insufficient expression of love for him.

Men's emotional hunger treatment:

The treatment of a man's emotional hunger from the perspective of psychologists and psychological counseling must be initiated on the man’s part, as he is the most capable of satisfying his emotional hunger and breaking his pathological emotional attachment to his partner.

Here are some steps to help treat a man's emotional hunger:

Meet the partner's emotional needs and satisfy them instead of focusing only on his needs.
Stay away from hinting and raising expectations that the partner knows the man's needs and ask her clearly, nicely, and directly.
Hold himself responsible for his feelings and not relate them directly to his partner's actions.
Notify the partner of her importance by being friendly, helping her with housework, and providing emotional support in other areas, if any.

How do I know if I'm emotionally hungry?

If you want an answer to your question, you must check the symptoms and signs of emotional hunger that we mentioned above in this article and make sure of the following:

A relationship with a partner is not just a beautiful addition to any part of your life; it is the focus of your life and your only concern.
There is no safety distance between you and your partner that gives you a margin of freedom; you are both attached and present in all the details of your life.
You are asking your partner for constant and excessive attention.
You want to communicate with your partner all the time.
You don't value your partner or express enough gratitude.
You are jealous of your partner's surroundings, try to suffocate them, and want to control them.

How do I deal with emotional hunger?

If you ask yourself this question, we promise that you have taken the first step towards the solution because recognizing the existence of a problem is the first step to solving it. Then you must follow these instructions:

Be clear with your partner about your needs; don't build fantasies and expectations and expect her to know them and act on them.
Accept that your partner is different from you in expressing her feelings; men and women do not express love the same way.
Do not ask your partner to take care of you in a suffocating way. If you want her to take care of you, ask her in a gentle and non-stifling way.
Allow your partner to have a private professional, family, and social life away from you, and keep a safe distance between you that increases your longing to meet.
Communicate with her in a way that reflects your interest, not your desire to own.
Every request you make or action you do toward your partner should be carefully considered and analyzed logically. Do not always be impulsive.
Always remember that you are first and foremost responsible for your feelings. Do not wait for the other party to achieve your happiness and do not hold her accountable for your unhappiness or anger; create your satisfaction, process your sorrows for yourself, and only ask the partner for support.

Difference Between Emotional Hunger and Emotional Eating:

Many people confuse emotional hunger with emotional eating, but we must note that emotional eating completely differs from emotional hunger. Emotional hunger, as mentioned above, is an urgent need for attention from others. Emotional eating is eating food to deal with feelings, such as resorting to eating when angry or sad or because of any emotion other than feeling hungry. It is often eating because of a craving for a specific type of food, followed by a feeling of regret or shame.

In conclusion:

A man who is emotionally hungry will demand from his partner an excessive amount of affection and attention that is greater than the logical need present in the normal feelings of love. As a result, the connection changes from its healthy condition to one in which one partner becomes pathologically attached to the other and drains them emotionally.

The reason for emotional hunger is the emotional deprivation experienced by the man in his childhood or his loneliness. Still, it is treatable by the man himself by paying attention to his attachment and emotional hunger and trying to satisfy himself before relying on others. This contributes to saving the relationship from collapsing and restoring a healthy balance.