Don't Get Stuck on Hold: Two Types of Waiting in Our Lives
The events of our lives have always been associated with waiting for a bus, standing in line, an anticipated promotion, or an expected trip. Waiting is common, but what are we waiting for? A permission, a feeling or a sign?
Note: This article is taken from the blog of Evan Tarver, who shares his experience of transitioning from traditional employment to full-time freelancing, discussing the implications, worst-case scenarios, and future concerns.
Waiting for something to happen wastes our time, and this is a well-known fact. It doesn't matter if you are waiting for a driver's license or leaving your current job, you are adopting a waiting mentality. Your mind's preoccupation with waiting isolates it from the present moment while in search of an unknown future. I might be exaggerating, but the waiting problem is there.
The waiting mentality is a mental framework that takes us out of the present moment. We all have ideas and dreams of an ideal future, and because our reality is not as perfect as the future we imagine, we feel that we are in a continuous waiting cycle, waiting for our ideal future to unfold before our eyes, but will that be achieved? It seems paradoxical, we wait for change to happen while waiting in itself without any practical initiative prolongs the change process.
Waiting mentality includes two types of waiting, both of which prevent us from reaching our ideal future:
Waiting is a waste of time
We all frequently experience this kind of waiting, and all we do is let time pass in vain. However, if you think about the reason for being helpless and wasting time waiting for something to happen, you will not find a good answer.
Suppose you want to get a driver's license, and now you stand in a long line for any reason without investing your time in anything. Hours will be wasted in vain waiting for your turn with great resentment and boredom.
but why? Isn't time valuable? Practically, time itself has no value, but the value of time emerges through the achievements we make in every moment. Therefore, why not multiply the value of the present moment by achievements?
Adopting a waiting mentality will turn any waiting period into an extremely boring matter, instead of being an enjoyable period, as time will be wasted and its value will decrease without achieving anything. Therefore, instead of devaluing time, why not take advantage of your spare time?
German educator and writer Eckhart Tolle reminds us that, "If you feel that your current moments are boring and heavy, then you have three options, to get out of the current situation immediately, to change it, or to accept it with a satisfied self." Most waiting situations push you to accept boredom.
But you can accept the situation by investing in listening to blogs and audiobooks, reading paper books, practicing e-reading and meditation, you can also use your imagination to elevate the value of the present moment. Practically speaking, time is of no value if you do not invest it.
Have you ever heard of the idea of "entropy"? The term "entropy" is used to measure the randomness of a system as it explains the order or absurdity of our universe.
The smaller the world, thus, the greater the cosmic order and organization, and physically, the dust particles were evenly spaced, and no paranormal occurred outside the cosmic order - Except for the origin of the universe - then followed by several changes, starting with the gravitational pull of dust particles, slowly and steadily together. Their collision with each other led to more particles, growing up and forming larger particles of matter, which collided with each other to split and form other particles, and so on.
As the universe expanded, it became more chaotic and turbulent, and the increasing turmoil led to a series of turbulence and randomness in the world until the universe reached its most turbulent form now.
Well, what does the genesis of cosmic chaos have to do with the value of time? According to modern physics, time is like space, passing without a clear direction. There is no difference between regressing or advancing time, forward or backward if we do not prove its value through achievements.
Physics defines the interrelationship between space and time as the property of overwhelming chaos or absurdity. It is what sets a trend; In the sense that the occurrence of event "A" will lead to event "B" which will lead to event "C", and this is “the meaning of causation” that gives a direction for the growth of things over time. This means that the concept of time is fixed, while things grow in order or absurdity with time in the form of "cause and effect".
If you think about time this way, you'll realize how much time is wasted waiting for unimportant things to be done. You are literally like someone who locks themself in a floating bubble without a goal but discovers that they can control its direction as they please. Be attentive to your important role in managing your time and adjusting its course away from the absurd, to transform the course of your life for the better during the waiting periods.
Therefore, investing the 30 minutes of waiting to get a driver's license in reading a book or getting to know those around you, will positively affect your life, and this brings us to the second type of waiting.
Waiting is justification for losing one’s life
While waiting is a waste of time, it can also be a waste of life. The waiting mentality leads people to neglect the present moment and use it as an excuse to waste their entire lifetime. We hear most people say phrases like, "One day I will start," or "After that happens."
When people repeat these phrases, they act on a waiting mentality as a justification for their delayed action. They justify their need for comfort while the fear of failure is dominated them by waiting as they avoid potential pain by delaying their desires.
We all have a perfect life that we imagine living one day, and most people think a lot about it, but no one takes serious measures or steps to make the fantasy come true. We wait on the safe side that we have previously determined, whether at work or in life in general, knowing that it is far from ideal. However, we wait, justify, and nurture our ambitious desires with delayed promises until further notice.
We recall what the German teacher and writer Eckhart Tolle said about fear-based waiting, "Every delay or waiting is followed by a negative event, behind which lie several lessons that must be learned."
Associating chaos with waiting is one of the worst things that can happen in people's lives. The longer we wait to achieve our higher goals and desires, the more the effect of positive chaos will wear off with time and this causes more success. In fact, the longer we wait, the more the effect of negative chaos takes hold, which increases existing chaos with negative events.
The quality of entropy is not determined by itself, nor are turbulence and causation good or bad factors, but our actions that cause entropy that grows positively or negatively. That is why we tend to choose to wait without taking any action, allowing the entropy to move in the negative direction which keeps us away from the ideal life we want.
Therefore, we need achievement to move the events of our lives positively and effectively. The more we stay in our distasteful work or in a toxic relationship, the more we make room for negative events. We need a firm pause in justifying the badness of our current situation to give ourselves a chance for a positive life, as the philosopher Marcus Aurelius says, "Accept the fateful events in your life, and invest them in waiting for what suits your needs."
We need to stop waiting and accept our ambitious desire to be the best, and whatever happens next, it won't be bad. For example:
In my personal life, before I took the leap towards devoting all my time to entrepreneurship, at first, I analyzed most of the bad future scenarios. If I maintain an expense of $5,000 a month, my income will drop to zero within 6 months, while I try to get my business up and running, and thus lose about $30,000, will I lose $30,000, and quit my job now? No, I'd better stay another 6 months and save more money, I convinced myself of this justification, to stay longer.
After I stopped making excuses and risked quitting my job, I realized it wasn't that bad. My income has certainly decreased, but it has not ceased, for I have drawn in my mind the worst possibilities.
In Conclusion
We conclude from this that the justification for waiting is nothing but short-sightedness, and for me, the loss of 30000$ may seem a great thing. But after thirty years, I will not look back lamenting the wasting money to achieve great goals, and there is no doubt that we will overcome it as if it had not happened, but we will remember our joy after making the decision, and sharpening our resolve to make a qualitative leap and pursue our goals.
The worst choice we can make in our lives is to wait. When thinking about the future, we should avoid stagnation or fear of moving to escape failure. Because it would be the worst option.