Be Yourself without Trying Too Hard

I lived with a wonderful friend who spoke English as her third language a few years ago. After years of experience, she eventually became fluent, but there was one phrase she would always say that I initially found difficult to understand: "Just be yourself."

Note: This article is based on the blogger Rebecca A. Watson, in which we talked about her personal experience in the idea of existence.

"Let's go to the beach and just be ourselves," she would say to me after we had finished our shopping. "Be yourself and relax," or "Be yourself and write," was how she always concluded her statements. I told her that I really just wanted to sit down and be myself, expectations notwithstanding. She was quite happy to hear it and said it was not a Western or American way of being. It made sense that after fifteen years of learning English she had never heard that phrase.

We are human beings by nature, whether our actions indicate this or not. Therefore, in the past few years, I have tried to live my life one day at a time. This is not an easy thing, especially since we live in a world in which we feel constantly trapped, where there is a lot of work and obligations every day. It's not impossible either, and it's totally worth it.

Be Yourself without Trying Too Hard:

Here are some things that will help you be yourself without putting in much effort:

1. Being yourself does not mean doing nothing:

This concept took me a while to understand.I used to believe that all I needed to do was sit and watch the sun from sunrise to sunset in order to be myself and nothing else.

While this sounds nice, it's not practical at all. I think it's a bit overkill. While I enjoy sitting on the balcony drinking morning tea and listening to the birds, I also like to write on my computer after working out.

Simply living in the present moment is the key. Sitting there, breathing quietly, appreciating the moment for what it is, my mind might wander as I write about the newest masterpiece. Not because I would be practicing yoga or meditation—I would still be working—but because I genuinely live in that moment and choose to do so.

2. Do one thing at a time:

I remember when multitasking was something I valued a lot. I was proud of my ability to multitask and handle deadlines and phone calls while walking on the treadmill.

I'm not completely sure, but I think multitasking is somehow addictive. I found myself trying to get more done at once, I started making mistakes, and while I was getting more done, time would fly by.

In contrast, when you focus on one task and do it well, you complete it more quickly with fewer mistakes, and you feel like everything is going well. Now, I feel calmer and more like myself.

3. Move according to a specific goal:

Whether that goal is to do a specific exercise or walk, take deliberate steps. Every step is a choice we make as we live on this planet. My thoughts would occasionally stray while I was working out, usually to the things that were on my mind.

I started to notice that I was doing this when I was shopping, cooking, or even while cycling on a busy street. I was putting myself in danger by letting my body move without thinking. I would later come back and be amazed at how foolish I had been.

When your mind is actively involved with your movements, you become more responsible for them, more integrated, and tend to act in harmony. This allows you greater peace because you are a whole entity. You gain better results as a byproduct of this without having to do much else.

4. Establish a schedule for daily tasks:

After I finish my busy to-do list, I have time to be myself. That's what I used to tell myself. However, as most people can confirm, to-do lists never end. There is always something else to do; something more to do before it's time to go to bed. Then, I would wonder why I can't sleep.

My to-do list now includes things like getting fit and together. These things are very important to me. I find that the best way to do this is to change tasks throughout the day. So, if your list includes finishing a big project, get started on it and then do something nice for yourself.

Of course, if you work in an office, you probably won't be able to walk five miles, but you can go for a coffee or a quick walk outside. Then, you can make a quick phone call to do something that was postponed, and then go back to work. You can sit in an empty office, turn off the lights, and breathe for five minutes.

You will find that even though you set aside a few minutes of your day for yourself, your productivity at work increases. Your boss will then have nothing to complain about. As a result, time passes more slowly and you feel like you are living your life more.

5. Deal with things simply:

It was difficult for me to accept that I would have to be myself all the time and for the rest of my life. It is difficult to understand that this is not something you can only do for a period of time. Accomplishing all my tasks has always been my obsession that drives me forward.

Whenever I get a little anxious about something, my husband would tell me my favorite comedic quote, “Take it easy.” No matter how frustrating or serious the situation is, I just stop for a moment and smile, which is great advice.

I can't use my power to make things better. I won't get better by being more disciplined. It's a huge contradiction, and life often is. The only thing you can do is relax, do what you can, take it easy, and enjoy what's happening in each moment.

When I look back at the first twenty years of my life, I don't remember anything that deserves my attention, as if life then was a frenetic rush without purpose or memories. These things were not clear to me. However, if I think about the past five years when I worked more on just being myself and living my life to the fullest, I feel amazed and grateful for the richness, abundance, vitality, so many wonderful memories, and things still in progress.