An Overview of Writings on Debate

Debating is often viewed as a way to prove one's point and undermine others' opinions. However, this approach can lead to self-absorption, haughtiness, and defensiveness, often resulting in a broken relationship. Winning a debate may not be worth losing a valuable connection with someone. Instead, it is better to avoid debates altogether and focus on what we can agree on.

The Importance of Maintaining Relationships:

In his book "Shortcut for a Better Life", the writer Ziad Rayess mentions: The foundation of debate is a person proving that they are right and the other is wrong. Often, debate is discussed in the context of self-absorption, arrogance, and defensiveness. It is seeking out anything you can find to bring down the other person and discredit their opinion. Your goal is to win at the expense of the other person and their self-esteem. These methods include diminishing and marginalizing the other person and anything they represent, on a personal or legal level. This often involves shedding light on all of the other person’s negative traits, whether or not they have anything to do with the topic and ignoring all their positive attributes.

But the best way to win a debate is to avoid debating at all. You may win in the heat of the battle with another person, but it will be a hollow victory in most cases. You will lose the relationship with the person you’re talking to. So you have to choose between an empty victory and a good relationship with that person.

It’s more mature to always maintain your composure and avoid people who are easily irritated. You shouldn’t get caught up in any discussions or disagreements with them, even if they set off something within you or put a bad taste in your mouth, and regardless of whether you’re right or wrong. Entering into a discussion with someone who can maintain their composure will spread good feelings.

In the end, everything you hear is just an opinion or information tied to a certain time, place, position, and judgment. The person has limited information, which gives them different perspectives on the facts themselves. It’s not necessarily the absolute truth. Of course, this does not apply to established religious facts and fixed doctrines.

It’s also the case that everything we see as absolutely true exists in the same framework. It’s unwise to win in a debate; better not to enter it in the first place and come together over what we can agree on. We can disregard whatever we disagree on.

Conclusion:

Winning a debate may provide a sense of satisfaction, but it may not be worth losing a relationship with someone. Instead of debating, it is better to focus on finding common ground and respecting each other's opinions. Everything we hear and believe is subjective and tied to a certain time, place, position, and judgment, and we should acknowledge this when engaging in discussions. Ultimately, maintaining composure and avoiding debates with those who cannot control their emotions is a more mature approach that can foster positive feelings and promote healthy relationships.