5 Ways to Maintain Your Mental Strength When You're Self-Doubtful

Did you ever feel like you weren't good enough? I bet you did; I know that feeling very well. We may all doubt our abilities sometimes; it is human nature, and the extraordinary thing is that we think that others are doing a better job than us, but they are not.

Note: This article is by Mark Chernoff, author of marcandangel.com, who shares his experience maintaining mental toughness when feeling like a failure or incompetence.

We compare everyday things that are entirely different in our lives, like comparing what is going on inside us with what is shown in the actions and behaviors of others. For example, you look at your co-worker's performance.

She makes a good presentation in front of your boss. Comparing it with what is happening inside you and thinking about it while you are waiting nervously in your seat until your turn, she is likely panicking inside; you cannot know what is going on inside her.

In fact, even if she's really cool, she's probably panicking inside. Research suggests that the so-called “crook syndrome” may get more severe when people get better at what they do: The more accomplished you become, the more likely you are to get closer to more talented and skilled people, which makes you feel less competent compared to them. So in reverse, if you're worried that you're not entirely up to par, that can be a perfect sign that you're doing just fine.

Maya Angelou, a famous American novelist and poet, once said, “I've written 11 books, but every time I was afraid they'd discover I had tricked them.” Angelou was an extraordinary talent, but she was also remarkable in her willingness to admit that she wasn't always confident in her abilities.

In today's world of constant online communication, it is challenging to keep things in perspective. Our lives are revealed on social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Snapchat. We use these social technologies, and unsurprisingly, we share and review the best aspects of our lives, from beautiful weddings, luxurious honeymoons, completed projects, and the best moments of happiness and smiles.

But we forget that we only see the beautiful and wonderful lives of others without seeing sleepless nights, failed attempts, moments of sadness, and self-doubt. So with all these things in mind, if you do not feel good enough now, it is time to adjust your thinking.

Five Ways to Maintain Your Mental Strength

1. Acknowledge that all emotions come from within

It's not external influences that control how we feel; what we think about what's happening around us determines our feelings. People's judgments, unplanned events in life, and incomplete to-do lists are not inherently stressful; your thoughts about these things cause you stress.

Most of us tend to blame external circumstances and scenarios; this is easy to do, but the truth is that all conflicts start internally in our minds. When we shirk responsibility, we do nothing but hurt ourselves, undermining our self-control and self-discipline. So the next time you encounter an obstacle and feel internal resistance, don't look around you; look inside you instead.

2. Accept your true place in life

Where you are now is the right place to be. We often avoid accepting our exact place in this life because of a belief we have built up in our minds, based on our ideals, or because of a lie someone once told us that this is not where we should be or want to be.

But the truth is that you are in the right place to get there later, so take a deep breath, absorb everything that happens, and learn from the lessons you receive.

3. Challenges in life are starting points

The Roman philosopher and emperor Marcus Aurelius once said, “Do your difficulties in life prevent you from acting with justice, generosity, discipline, awareness, wisdom, honesty, humility, integrity, and all the other qualities that allow one's nature to fulfill and satisfy itself? Remember this principle when your stability is threatened by an event causing you pain; "That event itself was no misfortune at all, but enduring and transcending it is a significant gain”.”

This is as close as possible to the truth; life may put you in a position to test your courage and willingness to develop and change at a time when you do not expect this to happen. At such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing is happening or saying that you are not ready yet. The challenge does not wait for anyone, and life continues, so encourage and say: "Today I will do what others do not do, so I will be able to achieve what others cannot."

It may be scary and risky, but at the same time, it is beautiful; in fact, it should not be easy to be outstanding and for everything to be good. The things you fight and struggle for before you gain them are the ones that have the greatest value, and when it is hard to get something, you will do your best to make sure that it is hard - if not impossible - to lose it.

4. Imagine a better life after failure

Former UK Prime Minister Winston Churchill once said, “Success is stumbling from one failure to another without losing enthusiasm," so you should know that this is true; facing many defeats in your life does not mean that you are defeated, and in fact the opposite is accurate, and it is unlikely that mistakes will be made by those who do nothing at all; it is better to have a life full of small failures that you learn from rather than a life full of regret never to try; it is all about growing gradually stronger and improving over time.

It is possible to spend months or even years on a project, only for others to watch and then ignore it, or worse, make fun of it. For example, I once worked on a project that I thought would be a great success, and I spent a whole year on it, but it was one of my most criticized works so far. When I launched it for others to see, no one liked it, and some people mocked me to the point where I was sad and wanted to cry.

This is the feeling of failure when you accept others and prepare to share with the honest part of you, but recovering from this failure is a practice and a mindset, and in fact, the harsh lessons I learned from that experience helped me do my most successful work so far. In other words, you will not develop without failure.

5. Appreciate the present moment and view it as your most precious resource

One of the things I've learned from the most painful moments of my life - losing loved ones to illness and accidents - is that death is inevitable. Accepting this fact may give you a powerful sense of reminder that you've lived a certain number of hours and that the hours ahead aren't as guaranteed as those you've already lived.

So when I think about it, I remember that every day is really an opportunity to learn and grow, not in a clichéd way, but to honestly appreciate what we can achieve and how to take responsibility for our current quality of life.

This makes self-esteem, focus, work ethic, generosity, self-awareness , and growth all the more important and leaves us no room to indulge in self-doubt. The last thing we would wish for is to die with regret. That's why respecting the reality of death puts life in perspective, gives us a sense of humility, and strongly motivates us to do our best today and live our lives with a bit of procrastination, comparison, criticism, consumption, and more trying, creativity, and learning.

In conclusion

Sometimes the pressure from peers, family, work, and society in general is enough to make us feel completely uncomfortable within ourselves. We assume we're not good enough if we don't have the “right” job, relationship, lifestyle, etc., at a certain age or time frame. Hence, we think that we are not good enough.