5 Steps to Overcome Frustrating Feelings

The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain.”

Note: This article is adapted from blogger Erin Falconer, who talks about the importance of accepting all of our feelings.

Are there wrong feelings? No, not really. Most feelings are not good or bad at all. Our response to them makes them good or bad, beneficial or harmful to ourselves or someone else. We were raised, taught, and told that feeling negative emotions is bad.

If you ever want to be a valuable, good, acceptable, respectable, or even half-decent person, you must always fully control your feelings and express only good feelings.

I've failed if that's the case, but that's okay. My most recent mistake was when I made my 1.5-year-old daughter take an afternoon nap a few days ago. Typically, my daughter naps for ninety minutes.

I was determined to increase my productivity and complete some crucial work during this nonstop hour and a half. Only about twenty minutes had passed on that particular day when my daughter abruptly woke up. I said to myself, “This can’t be happening, not today.

It's no big deal. I'll get her back to sleep, and it's okay if it takes a few minutes. I can go back to work and get those things done that I really want to get done, and then everything will be back on track in a few minutes."

However, my little girl clearly had a completely different idea. While she lay down immediately, she didn't want to go back to sleep. My plans started to fall apart after 30 minutes of trying every trick to get her to sleep, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I was unable to give up on finishing this work. I told my child, "Just close your eyes and go back to sleep," in a chilly voice as I went insane, filled with resentment and anger. She didn't, of course, which infuriated me even more.

Even though it wasn't my child's fault, I began to feel horrible for my child and angry at myself for being a bad parent. After that, I began to feel terrible because I could not let go of my anger and come to terms with the circumstances.

It was all so heavy, and I just wanted it to be over with. Luckily, after a short while, I gathered my composure and displayed some empathy and understanding, so I gave up trying to be the perfect, logical parent.

I went into the bathroom to hide from my poor child that I was crying so much. I acknowledge that I can be dramatic sometimes, even though I may have cried for a long time. I stopped crying when I decided I could take it no longer, took a few deep breaths to gather my strength, and apologized to my child for not allowing myself to accept and feel my feelings.

I even vented my rage at her. It was actually very easy to let go of my desire to finish those tasks in the afternoon once I gave myself permission to feel those negative feelings and let them come out through my crying. I returned to her bedroom and held my sweet baby girl. We went to the park, laughed, played, and shared sweets.

When you feel frustrated, resentful, disappointed, or angry, you can try to do something else other than ignore this feeling.

Follow these five steps

1. Experience the feeling

Just go ahead and allow yourself to feel it. You have to feel it completely and as much as possible. Give yourself a little space. Go into another room, cry a little, jump, walk around, or bury your head in a pillow and let the feeling overtake you for a few minutes.

2. Accept the feeling

Once you allow yourself to feel this feeling and accept it, you will feel very calm because you will not fight your feelings, yourself, or the fact that you are imperfect. This will definitely bring you great comfort.

3. Encouragement

You have to encourage and motivate yourself. For example, tell yourself, “I can get through it!” “Things didn't go the way I wanted, and that's normal, so it's time to move on,” “I've overcome much bigger challenges than this,” or “It's terrible, but I am strong, and I can get through it, and it doesn’t have to ruin my whole day.”

Say these to yourself or whatever positive affirmation you need to hear from yourself right now. If you are struggling to stay motivated, consider what you would say to a close friend who is struggling and could use some support. Then, tell yourself that.

4. Feeling grateful

Despite everything, you should think of 3 things you are grateful for now. Only three things in general need to be addressed; they don't all need to be connected to recent upsetting events.

These could be as basic as living in a secure environment, having food on hand whenever I get hungry, or having a cozy bed to sleep in at night. It could be more significant things like my lovely, content baby girl, my enjoyable job, or friendships.

5. Repetition

It is wrong to say, “There are no second chances in life.” There are always opportunities to remember that person or circumstance with a sense of acceptance and serenity and to make the appropriate corrections. Transform unpleasant circumstances into joyful, positive ones, experience what you should fully embrace, accept, and deal with the emotion. You'll experience satisfaction once more.