3 Ways Helping to Keep Your Relationship to Yourself

What comes to mind when you hear the word "relationship"? This word makes most people imagine images of couples, families, or friends interacting, which makes sense. So, relationships with others are an enormous and critical part of our lives and wellness. However, one significant relationship gets less attention: our relationship with ourselves.

Think about it: Are you treating yourself as lovingly, kindly, and respectfully as you would treat a close friend or family member? According to researcher and author Kristin Neff, most people are more likely to be cruel to themselves than to others.

This challenge may be because we can choose the type of people we want to spend time with and avoid those we don't want to be friends with but are committed to ourselves. So, while you may want to spend time with a friendly and fun friend and avoid the person who constantly complains about everything, you will not be able to evade spending time with yourself.

Although you may temporarily run away from yourself by watching movies, going out with friends, or distracting yourself with any other activity, you know that this is not the best way to live, so it may be better for you to learn how to be a better friend to yourself and become someone you do not have to escape from.

How to become a better friend to yourself?

Although there are many ways to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, one smooth strategy is to follow what Dr. John Gottman refers to as the magic ratio through which love lasts. In his extensive research on romantic relationships, Dr. Gottman found that a 5:1 ratio between positive and negative couple interactions is a powerful indicator that a couple stays together or breaks up. In other words, couples always stay together if there are five pleasurable or positive interactions for every negative interaction between them.

Now, think about your relationship with yourself and the percentage of positive and negative interactions you have with yourself. If the rate of positive interactions is low, keep this in mind, and remember that you can not divorce yourself, as if you will remain stuck in an unhappy marriage for the rest of your life. What makes it worse is that in this case, you will not find anyone to blame but yourself.

Increase positive interactions with yourself:

If you don't want to live this way, you should start by increasing the number of positive interactions you have with yourself regularly. This can be achieved in different ways, such as thinking about the specific actions you take to show your interest in another person, and applying them to yourself. For example, if you express your love for someone by spending quality time with them, you can devote some time to self-care.

In addition, we offer three ways to help you increase the number of positive interactions you have with yourself and then strengthen your relationship yourself:

1. Tell yourself every day that you love it:

If you feel overwhelmed by just thinking about doing it, definitely you're not alone. Many people may feel very embarrassed and uncomfortable, but by practicing, you'll feel it's normal, and you'll find it's the smoothest and fastest positive interaction you can have with yourself.

2. Give yourself compassion and love in times of hardship:

This is because it is easy to have positive interactions when we are in a good mood. However, in a time of suffering, we need it. So, Christine offers some ways to help you practice self-compassion, which is a simple and effective strategy. She recommends the following:

• Admit you suffer when you feel like it.
• Remind yourself that everyone in life suffers.
• Remember to be kind to yourself, to say something that brings you comfort, and to accept yourself as you are.

3. Enhance the skill of emotional resilience:

Positive interaction doesn't mean you inevitably feel positive emotions all the time. Sometimes you feel upset for a reason. Someone comes to you and makes you feel comfortable by simply allowing you to express your passion without trying to make you happy or change anything. An experience like this may improve your relationship with this person, so you can do the same with yourself.

Researcher Susan David talks about the skill of emotional resilience, which enables you to take a flexible approach, accept all your emotions, and learn from them instead of trying to avoid difficult emotions. Developing this skill is more challenging than enhancing the previous skills, but it can change your relationship with yourself.

As you see, there are a range of activities you can do to improve your relationship with yourself while maintaining a 5: 1 ratio as a guideline; if you think there's something that helps you improve the way you treat yourself, do it right away, whether tremendous or simple.