20 Things You Should Put on Your "Not-to-Do" List
As my wife and I drove this morning, a driver a few cars away threw a large cup out of the window in front of us, and suddenly, a motorcycle right in front of us stopped near the cup that the other driver threw while we were passing.
Note: This article is based on a blog post by Marc Chernoff, in which he presents 20 things that should be on our "things not to do" list.
When we stopped at the red light, the motorcycle driver stopped next to the driver who threw the cup and returned it to him, and said to him: "Try not to laze, and throw your garbage out of the trash; put this on the list of things not-to-do."
The “not-to-do” list may be a bit simple; Still, it is a helpful tool for tracking unproductive habits and thinking patterns.
If a list of “things to do” gives you value in your life, creating a list of “things not to do” will also bring you tremendous benefits in productivity and relationships, emotional stability, and enhanced happiness.
My not-to-do list
1. Laziness
The world owes you nothing; you owe the world. So stop daydreaming, start working, and replace laziness with determination; laziness is the inability to find the time available to you, and determination is the ability to find time even when it is not.
2. Fear of life's necessary challenges
We try hard to ignore the painful, challenging, or sad parts of our lives. However, just as we cannot snatch specific chapters from a book and expect the story to remain logical, we cannot snatch previous chapters from our lives and expect our lives to stay logical.
Keep each chapter of your life the same, and keep turning the pages one by one. Sooner or later, you will reach the page that brings everything together and will suddenly understand why each previous page and chapter is needed.
3. Take the path assumed by others only
Be a voice, not an echo; have the ability to articulate your needs and ideas to others without hesitation; if you are stressed, dare to achieve your ideas and dreams; and do not compare your progress with others'; we all need our own time to progress in our own lives, and it is okay to be different.
4. Wait for the right time
There is no right time for anything in life; something will always get in the way of you, whether it's someone coming to visit, someone leaving soon, the weather, money, or a loved one. No matter what, something will always happen or someone will tell you that the time is not right. But do what you want to do anyway, and do not wait for the perfect time; there’s no such thing.
5. Change for Others
You can't let people scare you; you can't spend your whole life trying to please others; and you can't live your life worrying about what other people are going to think, whether it's about your hair, your clothes, what you have to say, what you feel, what you believe, or what you have.
You can't let other people's judgments stop you from being yourself, because if you do, you're not going to be yourself; you're going to be the person other people want you to be.
6. Hide Your Humanity
Sometimes, you have to deal with problems and show others your strange side. This is okay; it is normal. Fortunately, it is these challenging moments that will often show you who will accept you at your worst and who will reject you.
7. Count everything as your duty
Life is an advantage, so act accordingly. Instead of feeling like we “should” do too much, we can achieve remarkable shifts in our energy levels, happiness, and effectiveness when we focus on the fact that we “can” accomplish too many things in our lives.
8. Try to get everything done at once
Isn't it strange that we don't feel the change that happens every day, but when we look at the past, we see that everything is different? Remember that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, so take one small action today, and you won't regret it.
9. Focus on the problems of the past
Don't let what scared you in the past affect your potential in the present or make you overcomplicate everything in the future. In life, the test often comes before the lesson, so take a deep breath and understand that your past is not wrong if you learn from it.
10. Think about the possibilities
Everything that is destined to happen will happen, so say it out loud: “I could have had another life to live, but I am living this life.”
11. Let the stupid little things affect you
Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how lucky you are; only do your best; appreciate each step and forget about the rest; and remember that good things take time, so be patient and stay positive.
12. Try to hold on to everything
Life is constantly changing, and nothing lasts forever. Remember that giving up and moving forward are two completely different things, so when things in your life don't go as you expected, it's time to get rid of them.
13. Neglect your current joys
If you do not appreciate what you have now, you will find yourself one day close to the end, wondering why you have not learned to treat everything as if it were the last time you would deal with it.
In other words, your greatest regret will be how much you focus on the future at the expense of every present moment in your life. Hence, do not hesitate for a long time, do not expect much, and increase your appreciation for things.
14. Take everything without offering anything in return
If you have too much, share your wealth, and if you have too little, give with your heart and try to give what you can. No one becomes poor from giving.
15. Rely on people
Realize that our lives begin to end with our moments of silence and refraining from dealing with essential issues, so speak up and don't hide your thoughts and feelings, especially when you can make a difference. Say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done. You are more courageous than you think and stronger than you seem.
16. To always be right
Faces of truth abound, so choose your arguments wisely; too often, peace and compromise are too good to be true.
17. Random Preconceptions
We evaluate others by their appearance and behavior, and we judge ourselves by our intentions and ideals. But do your best to love more and to lessen judgment.
18. Hold on to Hate
If you want to forget something or someone, never hate it; everything and everyone you hate is etched in your heart and mind. If you want to let go of something and free yourself from it, you should not hate it; you should forgive and move on with your life.
19. Set irrational conditions on those you love
Unconditional acceptance is something we want but rarely give. When someone else's happiness is your happiness, that's true love, and when you do something out of true love, you don't care what price you might pay in return.
20. Neglect your closest friends
I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's that you should stick to it, even when it's annoying; keep in touch with your friends; fight for them; let them fight for you; don't walk away; don't get distracted from friendship; don't underestimate it. Close friends are part of what gives meaning to our lives.