10 of the Most Common Body Language Cues

What exactly is body language? Is it the way you move your eyes when talking to someone? Is it how you twitch your fingers? Or is it the way you stand and walk?

Sometimes it’s all of the above, other times it’s only one or two of them. Either way, body language has attracted enough attention over the decades that some people have devoted themselves entirely to understanding it, and the influence it has on our daily interactions with others.

It has become a field of its own, with many self-appointed gurus claiming to offer the secrets that would allow anyone to “master” body language.

Regardless of what some people might preach, body language is something everyone should be familiar with. That’s why the topic of this article will be about the 10 most common body language cues.

Learn and observe these cues in yourself and in others. It’ll change your life.

1. Eye Contact:

Eye contact is the most common body language cue out there, and it’s also the most underutilised.

Depending on how you use it, it can be a great icebreaker or a sign that you’re being creepy and bothering the other person.

It’s also used to signal that you’re not afraid of people. Individuals who lack self-esteem and have confidence issues avoid eye contact all the time, which destroys their chances of overcoming social anxiety.

Of course, the way to get good at making eye contact and reading the different signals it gives off is by practising. How do you practise? If humans are still too intimidating, you can practise eye contact in front of a mirror.

You’ll quickly realise whether you need to work on this skill more if you tend to giggle or laugh when staring at your own image.

2. Handshake:

While everyone shakes hands with everyone else, there’s a great deal of calibration going on there.

A strong handshake is a sign that someone wants to dominate the interaction. A weak handshake, on the other hand, is a sign that someone might be afraid or anxious.

A neutral handshake, where equal pressure is applied from both sides, is a sign of mutual respect and understanding.

Again, it doesn’t make sense to stick to just one style of shaking hands, and you should certainly avoid having a weak handshake. Rather, you should adapt your handshake to the given situation.

Next time you’re in a meeting with fellow colleagues, remember to have a neutral handshake since you’re in a professional environment. It sets the stage properly for the rest of the day.

3. Smiling:

A smile can be incredibly deceptive sometimes. It’s hard to figure out when people are smiling genuinely or when they’re trying to hide something or change the topic.

That’s why smiling requires a lot of effort to perfect and apply in the right contexts. In general, you want to hold on to your smile when around friends and family. It gives off good vibes and will make it more likely that conversations go in a pleasant direction.

At the same time, learn to read other people’s smiles. For example, people tend to smile with crooked facial expressions when they’re embarrassed or afraid. It’s a way to fight off the uncomfortableness.

By understanding their smile, you’ll be able to act accordingly and say the right things. This idea of reading smiles applies in a lot of other places as well.

Master it!

4. Hand Gestures:

There are hundreds of hand gestures out there. All of them have a unique meaning and a story behind them.

Open palms, for instance, are a sign of honesty and good intentions. People usually resort to opening their palms when they really have no idea about something or when they’re telling the truth.

Next up is the thumbs-up. It’s one of the most recognisable hand gestures out there. It’s a signal of approval or agreement.

Always watch how people’s hands move. It’ll tell you a great deal about what’s going on in their minds.

5. Chin or Beard Stroke:

This happens when someone is thinking deeply about something. It’s a way of telling you that the person finds the topic intellectually interesting.

However, the idiom “chin-stroking” has come to mean someone who thinks deeply about something in a way that’s not really helpful. People usually chin-stroke to appear impressive in front of others, but it has the opposite effect.

Don’t abuse this one. Only consider stroking your chin when you’re really thinking deeply about something in a way that will help others.

6. Arms Crossed Over:

Another very typical body language cue. It’s a sign that someone might be defensive or annoyed with how something is happening.

It can also be a sign that someone is using all his mental faculties to solve a problem. This cue is sometimes accompanied by a stoic sitting position, probably with the legs crossed over as well in a lotus position.

7. Head Nods:

Head nods are a way of agreeing with someone. However, that’s not all. It’s a way of showing someone that you’re paying attention and listening to them speak.

Head nods are usually paired up with some other positive body language cue, such as a smile.

Likewise, head nods can mean something negative as well. If someone is nodding their head along, they could be waiting for you to finish because they’re not that interested in what you have to say.

8. Hunched Shoulders:

One of the biggest not-to-dos in the field of body language. Hunched shoulders are more common among males than females. It’s a sign that someone is either not sure of themselves or that they have some kind of health issue.

Either way, it’s something that you should avoid, and in the case of being unhealthy, it should motivate you to take better care of yourself.

In some instances, a person could be hunching their shoulders because they’re feeling cold or because they’re afraid of something.

In most cases, you should avoid having hunched shoulders because it ruins your interactions with others.

9. Twitching Fingers:

A person whose fingers are constantly twitching could mean they’re growing impatient or bored.

It’s a way of demonstrating a lack of interest, either in a conversation or something else.

The way to act in such a case is to take the conversation in a more lighthearted direction, away from the mundane.

10. Looking Down:

Another common body language cue you should avoid. It signals someone who is not confident or who is afraid.

The best way to interact with people is to keep your head held high and your eyes in direct contact with them. If you break either of these two, you risk losing control of the interaction.

In Conclusion:

This article could’ve been twice this long, and it would still not cover every single body language cue out there. These 10 are some of the most common you’ll come across, and it’s a great way to learn about body language.

The more you avoid doing some of the ones we mentioned here, the better your social interactions will become.

Likewise, doing some of the good ones here means you’ll develop more confidence and self-esteem, which other people will notice.

You also now know enough about what to do and not do when talking with others who show these body language cues as well.