Learn the Basics of Body Language: Can We Really Control It?

Researchers confirm the importance of body language in daily and professional life, as it constitutes more than half of the communication between people. Therefore, training in body language skills is very important because it helps us read the thoughts in the minds of the people around us.

The importance of eye contact in body language:

Body language experts confirm the importance of eye language in knowing what a person is thinking inside of them, by knowing whether they are making direct eye contact or if they are looking away. Looking away indicates boredom or ennui, and in some cases, it may refer to deception or running imagination.

In case a person looks down, it may indicate annoyance, nervousness, surrender, or frustration in some cases. It is also important to check the pupil dilation of the person you are talking to in order to know whether they respond to your words effectively. Recent studies indicate that the pupil dilates when the cognitive activity increases; That is, if you look at the person you are talking to and see their pupils dilated, this means that they are focusing on your speech.The pupil expands when a person focuses on something they like or attracts their attention.

Find out what a person is thinking by the way they look:

Glancing at something may indicate a desire to obtain or reach it. For example, a person repeatedly looking at a door indicates a desire to leave or get out, and a quick glance at a person indicates a desire to talk to them.

Some body language experts say that looking up and to the left when speaking indicates truthfulness or telling the truth and reality. On the contrary, looking up and to the right while talking indicates telling a lie. The reason for this is that most people look up and to the right when they use their imagination to make up events that didn't actually happen, and they look up and to the left when they recall memories that actually happened.

In meetings and conferences, a person usually looks at those they love from among the attendees or those who agree with them in what they would like to say because this increases their self-confidence. You can know the real decision makers as everyone looks at them constantly.

What does it mean if the person you are talking to is imitating your Body movements?

It is important to check whether the person you are talking to is imitating your body language. If you are sitting with them at the lunch table, try to put your elbow on the table, and wait ten seconds to see if this person will do what you are doing. You can also take a small sip of the drink in front of you and wait whether they will imitate you or not.

Others' imitation of your body language is an important sign that they would like to establish a relationship with you, to approach you, or to court you. It is a good indicator of your good influence on them. If your relationship with them is professional, then these signs mean that the opportunity is available to you to move forward in more courageous steps.

Reading body language through head movement:

It is important to monitor the movement of the head to see what is going on inside it. Some studies say that knowing the speed of the head movement of the person you are talking to may give you important information about the extent of their patience. The fast movement of the head indicates that the person you are talking to has heard enough of your words, and they are not interested in hearing more of it, so it is better to stop talking here for a while to allow them to talk.

However, tilting the head to one side during a conversation is a sign of interest in what the other person is saying and their desire to hear more of it. As for the person tilting their head back, it is a sign of lack of confidence and uncertainty in what is being said.

A person's tendency to repeatedly touch specific parts of the face, especially the mouth and eyes, indicates a lie or an attempt to hide a certain fact. These movements are considered as if the person is trying to invent things that did not happen or to hide events that actually happened.

How do you read your friend's thoughts through the movement of their feet?

You can know your friend's position on the words you say or the suggestion that you offered them through the movement of the feet. Body language experts explain this matter as follows:

When a person tries to control the language of their body, especially in the upper part of the body, such as the torso, hands, or facial expressions, the true attitude that exists within the person may involuntarily seep into their feet.

In case you notice that the feet of the person in front of you are directed towards you, it is in most cases an important sign indicating that they accept the opinions you put forward, and may indicate their attraction to you or their positive attitude in general. On the contrary, the retreat of their feet may indicate their dissatisfaction with your words, and it may mean aversion. Of course, these matters are relative and cannot be taken absolutely. Rather, they can be taken into account in addition to other matters.

How effective can a handshake be?

We communicate a lot through touch, whether programmatically or spontaneously. Therefore, we must think about the different messages sent by the methods of handshake. For example, a strong handshake is evidence of self-confidence and strength of position. On the contrary, a weak handshake is evidence of weakness and hesitation. If you want to impose your opinion on someone or obtain your right, the handshake must be strong and firm, so your opponent does not feel that you are weak or hesitant. 

Body language experts recommend that the handshake be deep, meaning that you shake hands with the entire palm of the hand and not just with the fingers. It gives a sense of control, so your opponent feels that you surround their entire hand as if you are surrounding or controlling them.

The importance of emptiness in talking to others:

There is no doubt that you feel tight or uncomfortable during your conversation with someone who is standing at a close distance from you. You get the feeling that your personal space is being hacked. Psychology experts emphasise the human need for an empty physical space around them, taking into account the difference in this distance according to culture, situation, and the extent of the intimacy of the relationship. You can use physical space to communicate a variety of non-verbal messages and set boundaries in the relationship you want by sending signals of affection, aggression, anger, or dominance.

Tone is more important than content:

In most cases, it is not about what you said, but more about the way you said it. People focus on the timing of your speech, the frequency of your utterance of consecutive words, and the loudness and tone of your voice when it comes out of your throat. You may be surprised that those around you read your voice and the movement of the facial muscles, the movement of the throat, and the colour of the skin during the speech more than they focus on the content you say. You must choose the tone of voice that matches with the situation. Also, before you start speaking, take a deep breath and think about the tone you will choose: Is it a tone of sarcasm, anger, seriousness, affection or confidence?

Can we control body language?

There are several books and websites that provide advice on the best way to use body language for your own good, like teaching you how to sit or how to shake hands to appear confident or strong. However, there are some psychology experts who see the low probability of success of these tricks if you do not have confidence and feel in control. You cannot feel confident when you are not confident in yourself in the first place because of your dissatisfaction with yourself at work, family, or study.

Experts add that there is no possibility to control all the signals sent by your nervous and psychological system related to the thoughts or feelings that are going on inside you. Rather, the researchers go further than that. They see that the excessive attempt to control these signals may lead to the exit of abnormal or unwanted signals, which ruins the matter for the learner.

However, this does not mean that you cannot control body language or non-verbal cues completely. For example, if you do not agree with what someone is saying in front of you, you may resort to crossing your arms, avoiding direct eye contact ,or tapping your feet. Nonetheless, in order not to anger them, to communicate effectively with them, and to avoid putting them on the defensive mood, you can make a conscious effort to avoid sending negative signals by keeping the conversation open, as if you are trying hard to understand what the other person wants to communicate and why they think that way.

In conclusion:

At the end of this article, we must conclude with useful advice to all of you which is to always be proactive in reading everything that is new. The world today is the world of knowledge. Whoever knows more and applies what they know, succeeds more. Body language is one of the pieces of knowledge that facilitates our access to what we aspire to. It prepares us for a good social life as a result of our understanding of what is going on inside the hearts and minds of people, which achieves better communication with them at all levels. So, do not waste time, but read and study because life is shorter than we imagine.