8 Ways to Deal with Anxiety in a Fresh Relationship

Getting into your first relationship is scary. Even if you are past that hurdle, getting into any new relationship is still a wild ride of an experience.

There are so many questions going through your mind and your partner’s. Is this person right for me? Am I going to enjoy spending time with them? Could they break my heart? Is there any way to know what the future holds?

There is no way to answer any of these questions, as relationships are a gamble, and it is up to you to make the most out of each one.

While the uncertainty will always be there, you can take some steps to ensure you will not ruin the relationship with your anxiety.

The methods discussed here won’t work 100% of the time, but they can give you a leg up no matter what your starting point is.

Managing Anxiety for a Stronger Relationship:

1. Understand That You’re Different:

Part of what makes relationships so hard a lot of the time is that people are inherently different. Sure, your common interests, beliefs, and thought processes might intersect in nearly everything, but there’s still that element of individuality that makes you, you.

When you come to a relationship from a place of understanding your own unique needs and wants, it becomes easier to connect with your partner.

The same applies to them, as they also have to acknowledge their own differences and make that clear.

Otherwise, you risk falling into the habit of undermining yourself and losing what makes you special.

2. Assure Them They Matter:

Your partner is going to think all sorts of things at the beginning of a relationship. A common thought pattern that arises is whether they are enough for you or the opposite.

This can manifest in the form of fear of commitment or clinginess.

• Fear of commitment usually arises when someone is not used to showing vulnerability. They have suffered heartbreak and disappointment a lot in the past, and that shows when they try to end a relationship before it begins.
• Clinginess is the opposite: It is when a partner is so happy they have finally found someone they go all in. You’ll probably feel suffocated by this type of behavior, as they will bombard you with sweet words and text messages 24/7. Clinginess arises from not having anyone to rely on throughout one’s life. A relationship is seen as the goal here.

Whether you’re dealing with the first or the second one, it’s really important to tell your partner they matter. A clingy person will respond best when you match their pace and assure them you will always be there for them.

A commitment-phobic person will respond best if you give them space when they need it, and prove yourself through actions not just words.

No matter what, always come at the problem from a place of kindness and good intentions, and you will solve most issues that come up right away.

3. If They Have a Disorder, Support Them:

This can be anything from social anxiety to bipolar disorder. People are not perfect, and your partner is no exception. If they have been diagnosed previously with some kind of mental illness or are struggling in general, you have to support them.

Something like social anxiety can kill any relationship before it begins because the person will not be ready for the kind of responsibility and social calibration necessary to make it work.

If there is any way you can calm their anxieties and guide them through the process, do it. They will see that you think they are worth it, and the confidence boost will push them on to show their best qualities as a partner.

4. Share, Share, Share:

You know the saying, “The more we share, the more we have”? Well, it applies really well to relationships.

An excellent way to kill early relationship anxiety is through sharing! Sharing your thoughts, your hopes and dreams, and what makes you happy or sad.

These things build a stronger bond, trust, and reliability. It will make your partner see you as the person to be with instead of the person that is there.

Anxious thoughts tend to crop up and pile up when couples do not share, so do not do it. The exception is if there is something you feel is too early or too late to share with your partner.

In such a case, it is good to talk about whatever is bothering you in a time and place that does not lead to more anxiety.

5. Be Vulnerable:

Anxious people protect themselves too much and build mental barriers that stand in their way of finding happiness with another person, which kills vulnerability.

If you are not vulnerable with your partner, then what are you doing? Vulnerability is how you get past the stage of friendship/acquaintances and into becoming partners for life.

Early on in a relationship, it is hard to ask someone to be vulnerable. It might have the opposite effect and scare them away.

What you should do is take it gradually. Do more activities together, spend more time doing things that matter to you both, and leave no room for doubt when it comes to where you are both heading.

If it all works out, you can be more vulnerable around your partner. This can manifest in different ways as well. Some people want reassurance that they matter (see above), while others will be happy if you are a good listener.

All of that requires you to figure out what’s best for both of you, but the important lesson here is to never shy away from vulnerability. It is the key that unlocks the door to true happiness.

6. Avoid Projection:

Ah, yes! Projection. It’s the bane of everyone’s relationships. Projection happens when you focus on a single character trait in a person and start drawing quick conclusions or comparing them to others.

When you are projecting, you see what you want to see, not what is actually there. It is what leads to jealousy, confusion, resentment, misunderstandings, and so much relationship drama.

Believe it or not, projection is to be expected. How else is your partner going to take that leap of faith when deciding that you are a person they see themselves with?

Projection is a shortcut toward that. However, your role is to not let it take over your relationship. Assure your partner that whatever worries they might have, you will do your best to help them get past it all.

Projection is an advanced form of anxiety, and dealing with it will require constant effort until there is trust between you.

7. Be Patient:

Relationships require work and time. Time is what you’ll need when you are getting used to being with another person.

Your dream idea for a couple will not become a reality if you rush things. That is why it is important to enjoy the process, fight together like a team, and hope for the best.

Anxiety itself is scary, and it forces people to make snap judgments or rush through an important stage in a relationship to feel better. Do your part and exercise some self-control to not fall into this trap.

If your partner is worth it, you will do it for them and stay by their side.

8. Focus on the Present, and the Future:

Finishing off this list, it is time to say what you have been waiting for. What is important when you are with someone is the now, the present.

Of course, you want to grow together and achieve great things through your love and devotion to each other, but this will not happen overnight. You need to take things slowly and enjoy every victory and defeat, with lots of communication and emotional support along the way.

The present will quickly give way to the future, a future where you and your partner are well past the honeymoon phase of a relationship.

It is the place where you can finally talk about seriously committing to each other, and you deserve it because you have gotten past that initial hurdle and anxiety that haunts every new relationship!

In Conclusion:

Wonderful relationships are born out of trust, vulnerability, and care. Anxious people should learn to take things gradually when getting into a new relationship.

Your worries are perfectly valid. If you are with the right one, they will understand and help you settle into a more peaceful state of mind.

Understand that the things we discussed here are general rules, and you should adapt them to your unique situation and improvise when needed.

After all, relationships are messy. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to succeeding at this other than staying true to yourself and taking care of your partner!