5 Steps to Being Less Busy

You can be less busy in a very crowded world, but it is not easy because we are addicted to being busy.

I met one of my friends who asked me about myself, and I said I'm fine but I'm very busy, and she laughed and said to me, "When was the last time you weren't busy?"

In fact, this question shook me to the core, and I started to have thoughts:

1. Do vacations count?
2. I can't even remember when was the last time I wasn't busy.
3. Something has to change.

Busyness has become the new normal, as we are occupied by habit, but this is not a way of living. This interaction led me to read the book "Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less" by Greg McKeown.

If you are always in a busy state, you have to change, and if you don't prioritize your life, someone else will.

Here are 5 steps to being less busy:

1. Building a core mindset:

Essentialism is mentality, and it is a new style and way of life. Here is a useful explanation that separates essentialism from non-essentialism.

Non-essential mindset:

1. Thinking in a "must" way.
2. Interaction and acceptance without real thought.
3. Seeing too many tasks and feeling out of control.
4. Tired and exhausted

Essential mindset:

1. Think in a "I choose to" way.
2. Execution and refusal of everything but necessary matters.
3. Doing the right things and feeling in control.
4. Good work and enjoyment in the work process.

What is your mindset now? What is the mentality you want to be in?

2. Life Without Remorse:

Before diving into principles, think about why you are here. McKeown shares the story of an Australian nurse named Bronnie Ware, who cared for patients at the end of their lives and recorded the regret they often discussed.

Most people express this regret at the end of their lives. She says eloquently: “I wish I had the courage to live a real life with myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Now, it is your turn to re-evaluate your life. What do you want to achieve in this life? Who are the people you want to spend time with? What are the things that you want to do for yourself? What are your priorities?

Challenge: Write down the five things you want to achieve at the end of your life.

This list will push you to focus on what's essential, help you say no to people you don't want to spend your time with, help you stop doing the things you don't want to do, and prioritize only the important things.

3. Having the option:

One of the most powerful scientific passages that McKeown shared in the book was about something called learned helplessness. Researchers Martin Seligman and Steve Maier conducted an experiment with the German Shepherd dogs.

Seligman and Meyer divided dogs into three groups. The dogs of the first group were strapped and given an electric shock, and they also were provided with a handle that they could press to stop the shock. The dogs of the second group were tied to identical belts, and they were given the same handle and the same shock, but the trick was that the handle did not work, leaving the dogs unable to do anything about the electric shock. The third group was simply strapped, but did not receive any shocks. 

Next, each dog was put into a large box with a baffle in the middle, and one side of the box caused an electric shock while the other didn't. Then something interesting happened. The dogs that were either able to stop the shock or not didn't get shocked at all in the previous part of the experiment, and they quickly learned to step over the barrier to the other side without shocks. The dogs, which were helpless in the later part of the experiment, did not get over the barrier. They didn't adapt and didn't do anything to try to avoid the shock. They knew they had no other choice but to endure the shocks, and in doing so, they learned helplessness.

This experience is powerful because it shows us that we forget to have another choice, we forget to have the power to change, the power to refuse.

Challenge: What are the three things that you accept without even thinking? Think about the activities and people in your life, and remember that you have a choice. Do you still choose all of these activities and people in your life?

4. Confirmed Consent:

If you have to sum up the essential point, you could sum it up with this phrase: No more “yes,” either openly agreeing or not.

I call this the principle of affirmative consent “of course, yes”. It may be very difficult to implement, but it is a profound guiding principle and is well worth the effort because it means complete conviction of the goal and enthusiasm. There are no more possibilities, no more indifference, and no more half attempts, but it is either you do what you love or you do nothing at all. Can you live with this principle?

The challenge: Type “yes for sure, or no” on a sticky note next to your computer, and when answering emails, taking calls, and making your to-do lists, treat everything by this principle.

5. Reducing the to-do list:

My favorite thing about Science of People is to take big concepts and break them down into practical tasks. If you want to be less busy, here are three things you should do now based on core philosophy:

1. Write down your single goal for this month. This makes your goal clear. What is the one thing you want to do well in the next month?
2. Look at your to-do list and divide it into two parts, remove all the tasks that you like to do, and leave the ones that you must do to achieve your goal.
3. Look at your calendar for the next month and remove five events, calls, and meetings which are unnecessary for your goal. Mark your calendar to do so on the first day of every month.

In conclusion:

Remember, it doesn't have to be busy or virtual for you, so be substantive and choose to save time over busyness.